The Young Ones: Special Guest
by xxFemmeFatalexx
Summary: Mike has a guest staying at the sharehouse. Who is it? Will the boys take a liking to this? To find out, just read and I hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

The Young Ones: Special Guest

Author: H.W

Rating: PG

Category: Comedy

Feedback: All I could get :) Honestly though!

Summary: Another crazy Young Ones adventure (If you will). Mike has a special guest staying in the share house.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Young Ones or anything associated with it. Its just a Fic I made up. Please don't sue me as I have no money at all!

* * *

The scene opens up with Mike, Vyvyan and Rick sitting at the table hungry and bored as usual. Neil walks through the door, as Vyvyan looks up angry. 

"NEIL!" Vyvyan shouted, "Why haven't you started cooking my tea yet? I have been hungry for at least 15 minutes and you haven't done a bloody thing!"

"Yeah, well I'm sorry Vyvyan, but I can't do everything you know." Neil said trying to defend himself.

"Well Neil, that's no excuse for not starting dinner is it?" Rick protested.

"Actually it is Rick, I mean since we haven't got any bread and since there isn't anything in the cupboards that I can actually, like, cook, no I haven't started dinner. Anyway, even if I had, you guys wouldn't appreciate it and everything that I do for all of you, like all the heavy housework and everything..."

"Oh come off it Neil! The house still looks the same after you've done the housework anyway." Rick interrupted.

"Neil, what do you mean there is nothing to eat?" Asked Mike, "I saw Vyv with a whole box of Cornflakes this morning."

"Yes Michael, but I do not eat Cornflakes in the morning so I gave them to S.P.G." Vyvyan said.

"You could have left them for later on Vyv for like, now." Neil suggested.

"But I didn't know I would have wanted them now Neil." Vyvyan replied.

"Well lads, I guess there isn't anything to eat then so we are just going to have to starve." Neil said as he sat down at the table joining the rest of the guys.

"I don't think so Neil. We could always eat you." Rick grinned.

"Shut up Rick." Mike shouted warningly as Rick turned his back on the rest. "Now I don't usually like to agree with Neil but we are just going to have to starve unless someone can cough up some money to buy food."

"How Mike?" Vyvyan asked.

"Well I can tell you what matey boy, if we have to decide on who is getting a job again, it is not going to be me." Rick said seriously.

"No Rick, it isn't going to be you that has to get a job. It is going to be me again because I'm the only one that does anything around here and…"

"Neil, it may be a bitter pill to swallow but I'm at the end of my rope," said Mike while Vyvyan and Rick looked confused, "Somebody needs to get a job or find some money for food fast because I'm expecting company tomorrow."

"A girl Mike?" Asked Vyvyan.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Anyway I'm going to hit the sack. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Mike." The boys said together as Mike walked up the stairs leaving Vyvyan, Neil and Rick hungry at the table.


	2. Chapter 2

Neil woke at 2:00pm at the sound of the telephone ringing.

"I'm not surprised I woke up at the sound of the telephone ringing seeing as I am the one that always has to answer it." He said to himself.

Neil walked out of his room in no rush to answer the phone.

"Lads, I think you should all, like, wake up. Not that there is any point anyway seeing as that today is going to be just as boring as yesterday."

The phone was still ringing as Neil got down the stairs and he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, my name is Jess. Is Michael at home?" the woman on the other end of the call asked.

"Who's Michael?" Neil asked himself.

"Hello? Are you there?" The woman inquired.

"Uh, yes" Neil answered.

"Well is he home?"

"Who?"

"Michael…Mike TheCoolPerson?"

"Oh Michael isn't here but Mike is."

Neil hung up satisfied that he had a decent conversation with a chick as Mike and Vyvyan came down the stairs. Mike was in his best suit.

"Hi guys." Neil gestured.

"Good afternoon Neil." Mike replied.

"Neil, breakfast ready yet?" asked Vyvyan.

"There isn't anything to eat Vyv, remember? And even if there was something to eat, right, it wouldn't be breakfast, it would be lunch because it is the afternoon."

"Neil what do you mean there isn't anything to eat?" Mike asked, "I specifically said that somebody has to get a job or find some money fast because I'm expecting company today and when I meant somebody I meant you."

As Neil was about to try and explain himself to Mike and Vyvyan, Rick came down the stairs and entered the kitchen.

"VYVYAN! You utter bustard!" he shouted.

"What did I do this time." Vyvyan asked already knowing the answer.

"You know what you did and I ought to give you a good smack on the bottom!" Rick said holding up his fist. "Those were my favourite pair of dungarees!"

"I thought they were your only pair."

"It doesn't matter how many pairs I have young man, all that matters is…"

Before Rick could get his sentence out, Vyvyan smashed a plate over Rick's head.

"Look guys, I don't want to bring any of you down or anything…" Neil said as Rick interrupted him.

"Neil you always bring us down you stupid bloody hippy."

"Oh that's right Rick, pick on me and make out I ruined universe or something man."

"Oh shut up Neil. God, if you were any smarter you'd be a moron." Rick alleged as Neil frowned.

"Guys, listen. Like I said last night and before. I'm expecting company today. In fact I'm expecting company in 2 hours. So Rick, I'm giving you 2 hours to clean out your bedroom, alright?" Mike told them as he started to walk out.

"Yes Mike," Rick said quickly before pausing, "Wait, what?"

"I said Rick, that…"

"Yes Mike, I heard what you said but why?"

"Because we drew straws and yours was the shortest."

"I don't remember doing that."

"You were unconscious Rick."

"Wait a minute! When was this?"

"I'd say a week from today. Now time is money Rick, so don't waste my time or it will cost you."

"But Mike, why do I have to clean out my room?"

"Well I can't let my guest sleep on the floor, can I? And what gentlemen would I be if I told them to sleep on the couch?"

"So why can't we just use Neil's room? He doesn't even use his bed!"

"Rick, I've already organized to build my next roller disco in Neil's room so it isn't an option." Mike said as he headed for the door.

"But Mike…"

"Just get that room cleaned out ok?" Mike rushed out the door on his way to pick his guest up from the airport.

"Ok." Rick said unwittingly as he walked back to the kitchen table where Vyvyan and Neil were sitting.

"Ohhh no." Neil moaned in his usual 'Neil tone'.

"What is it now Neil? God, your such a bloody whiner aren't you?"

"I forgot to tell Mike he had a phone call."

"Neil, get me some breakfast or I will kill you!" Vyvyan said fuming.

"Vyv we haven't got any…"

SMASH. Before Neil could answer, Vyvyan hit him over the head with a saucer that was on the table.

"Ha ha ha Neil! That will teach you for…um…not getting us anything to eat." Rick said with his typical Rick grin.

"Rick." Vyvyan said.

"Yes Vyvyan?"

"Shut up!" Vyvyan said as he hit Rick over the head with the same saucer.


	3. Chapter 3

The front door bell rung as Rick and Neil regained consciousness.

"Neil answer the door." Rick demanded.

"Oh yeah right, like always Rick. I might as well be your slave."

"JUST ANSWER THE DOOR!" Vyvyan yelled.

"Ok, ok. Don't get uncool and heavy man." Neil said as he answered the door.

Neil was taken back as a beautiful blonde woman stood at the door. She stared at Neil until he spoke.

"Uh, I think you are at the wrong house."

"No I don't think so." The woman spoke as Neil realized she had an accent.

"Oh are you American?" he asked.

"Yes. I am. I'm an American exchange student, I'm going to be studying at Scumbag College."

"Oh wow."

"So, is Mike here?" The woman asked trying to peep inside.

"Uh no. He has, like, gone out to pick up his guest from the airport." Neil replied.

"Oh no." The woman said with her hand on her forehead, "I'm the guest. I tried calling him this morning to tell him I was going to be earlier than expected and that I could call a cab to drop me off here but some stupid hippy like yourself hung up on me."

"Oh, uh, that was me."

"I thought so. Well aren't you going to let me in? Or do I have to wait until Mike comes back?"

"Oh yeah, right." Neil said as he let the woman walk inside the less than tidy share house.

The woman walked in disgusted as Rick and Vyvyan looked shocked to see that there was a woman in their house.

"Oh hi. You must be Mike's other house mates." The woman said attempting to shake Rick and Vyvyan's hands, as they were both motionless. "Do you know when Mike will be back?"

"Uh, who are you?" Rick asked.

"Oh Mike never told you I was coming?" The woman asked.

"No, he didn't! In fact Mike hasn't told us…"

"Shut up ya nerdy!" Vyvyan yelled as he started to stare at the woman's breasts.

"Oh ha ha Vyvyan. What repartee. Do you think being rude to me in front of one of Mike's lady friends is going to accomplish anything?"

Vyvyan thought for a moment. "…Yes!"

Vyvyan continued to stare at the ladies ample chest while Rick gave him a deadly look.

"You know Vyvyan, your just jealous that Mike considers me his close friend while you are just someone he talks to."

Vyvyan was about to reply while Mike walked through the door looking very confused until he saw the woman.

"Mike!" The women said as a smile came to her face.

"Ah, Jess. How are you? And how did you get here?" he asked her as he grabbed a chair for her to sit on.

"Oh I'm fine. I tried to call you to tell you my plane was earlier than anticipated but your hippy friend hung up on me."

"Neil! What have I told you about that?"Mike asked as he gave a quick shot at Neil.

"Uh sorry Mike."

"Sorry about that Jess. All that matters is that you're here now. I think I should introduce you to everybody." Mike said as he pointed at the boys individually.

"That's Neil, that's Rick and that's Vyvyan. Guys this is my cousin, Jess."

"What?" Vyvyan asked. "I thought you were getting laid tonight Mike."

"Who said I'm not Vyv?" Mike replied.

"What? By your cousin?"

"No." Mike said disgusted as Jess hit Mike, "What was that for?"

"If only your Mother could see this place!" Jess scolded as she examined the house. "She would be revolted! This is a dump."

"Now, now Jess. Don't hurt Neil's feelings. He does the cleaning around here." Mike said trying to get the heat of himself. "I'll show you to your room."

"Ah Michael?" Rick said, "I haven't actually got around to cleaning out my bedroom…"

"I'm sleeping on the couch." Jess quickly said as Rick smirked. "I'd rather sleep on a dirty couch than some spotty kids dirty bed!"

"Ok." Mike said, "But I have to tell you a few house guidelines. Number 1: Bath night is Tuesdays. Number 2: If it is cold and we want a fire, we all have to contribute personal possessions to burn…"

"Ok, I have heard enough!" Jess said as she cut him off. "Things are going to start changing around here. Big time."

Neil, Vyvyan and Rick were surprised. They had never seen anyone stand up to Mike like this before.


End file.
